Realm of Mystic Orchid

mystic_orchid @ 2005-01-06T13:28:00

2005-01-06T18:50:35Z

Adorability!

Find out what anime girl you are.

Awwwww!

Find out what anime character cliche you are.

*meow*

What fuzzy creature are you?

Isn't magic great!?

Find out what anime villan you are.

Take the Anime Sountrack Quiz

Evil or not?
What character from a creepy anime are you?

Weee in class!

2005-01-06T18:28:00Z

From "Chrono Cross"
What Video Game Villain Are You?

I'm in CGI/PERL right now... have html/xhtml and webgraphisc and multi. too. Umm gonna make it short. Ty is coming down friday.. can't wait. I'm gonna jump him when he gets here.

Warcraft is my crack now... Burning Legion and Stormrage servers. Fun fun.

Neways.. need to go.... not suppose to be on XD. Neways love you all.. talk to you laters.

gasps OMG it's the Kelsey!

2004-12-10T07:44:22Z

Yes yes! It's me! I have returned! Mwahahah..ha...haha... he... *cough*

Well up.. biggest news... I'm not single anymore... and even more so... it's with Tyler... someone I have right here in Georgia with me. XD He's so sexy <3 my Ty.

Umm... what else... finally done with my medications.. other than my bloodpressure medication I'm taking, my lexepro, and my birth control of course.

I dread going back to school.... I still gotta call them and figure out what I gotta do... don't really go.. can't really stay.

Got a puppy this past friday.... get this.. my sister and mom named her BC -.- Baxter Creswell cause Ans goes to UGA. It's a boy's name damn it.. and they are all like "Not if you say it BEECEE!"... stupid. -.o

Working on christmas! Wooties! I got DDR with the dance pad! I also wanna get a sewing machine and some sunglasses... I'm curious to see what Tyler has in mind for me for christmas.....

Talking to Danny right now.. we talk off an on... he's kewl.. and he said to mention his sexiness so *does so*.

I have a LAN party tomorrow! Wooties! I get to blow stuff up.....

Well.. Serena is loving on me and pretty much saying "Damn it mommy stop typing and give my cute furry ass attention." so I guess I'm gonna quit fighting her and give her some lubbings.

Fun at the hosptial

2004-10-07T18:06:28Z

Well went to the hospital again yesterday... all went well this time. Drugs are good...... yeah. But they found an ulcer.. yay fun. I'm now on medication for that.... although I don't see how that would cause swelling and other crap... but that would explain the nausea. *shrugs* Oh well... got the sleep study on the 17th still.. and I got to go back for a check up with Dr. Easterling on the 22nd.

Got my hair cut Tuesday...

Gotta go to Valdosta this weekend to get some of my stuff... PC, CDs, clothes... fun fun.

Well that's about it really... how exciting, eh? Hmm... well... possibly getting into an online DnD game.. but I got a LOT of reading to do before I can understand how to get started... MUSH fun yes yes.

Neways, be good everyone and remember... squirrels are slowly taking over the world! I swear they are!

Fun times...

2004-09-30T16:57:30Z

Well to fill you guys in.. for those that didn't know.. I had to go back to the hospital yesterday for that stomach scope probe thing. I go back to the OR... get my lovely little IV stuck in my forearm.... get all wired up.. fun times... get this nasty crap sprayed in my throat -.o lol... get given some kinda meds that make your mouth dry up... fun fun. I go back for the procedure.. they start doping me up.. I can't even remember what all they gave me... I just know they were a little suprised and wouldn't give me anymore... although I was still pretty aware... So I am back there... aware of everything going on.. I'm all fixed up with this aweful little gag.. thingy... they go to put the thing down my throat.. my body starts to reject it.. caughing, weezing all that good stuff.. try to control it but can't.. can't breath right... can't breath through my nose like they are telling me to. They abort the procedure.. I'm upset cause I wanted to get the shit done with... yeah.. my throat is all fucked up.. can't talk right.. sound horse... by the end of the night a bruse is forming.....

Now... I got a huge bruse on my forearm... and my throat is all screwed up still... I sound like I'm horse or something.. all messed up and stuff.

I get to go BACK next wednsday and do it all over again.. only this time they are suppose to put me to sleep.. which I think they should have done in the first place... if I knew they weren't gonna knock me out good enough I wouldn't have gone in that damn place -.-

*sighs* I hate this... bleh.

Sorry

2004-09-22T05:21:32Z

I haven't updated ya'll in a while.. fun.. umm last week went back to the docotor like planed.. got to go BACK to the hospital.. got x-rays done and blood work done. I had to do a 24 urine collection.. thing.. that sucked... haven't got the results back from that.

I thought I was getting better.. guess what? SWELLING CAME BACK LAST NIGHT! MOTHER FUCKING YAY! -.-

So now I'm back to where I was in the begining.. in alot of pain.

Had an anxiety attack tonight.. still a little stressed out... although the only person I talked to about it was Nambis. I didn't feel like being bugged by several other people. I'm starting to think the Wellbutrin isn't helping...

Also speaking of Nambis... working on a computer game now.

That's it. I'll keep you updated.

Quiz Crazy XD

2004-09-15T23:29:01Z

With just Kelsey it's 55% XD

Question is... do I WANT to be cured? hmm *rubs chin*

Hell yes! I shaged Snape!!!! lmao!

damn those ninjas....

"Now serving No. 1..."

This one was fun to play around with XD

Had to post this for you Sting <3

2004-09-15T19:34:36Z

Meow baby ^.~ lmao

Yay Quizs!

2004-09-15T17:46:59Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

RWAR *stole from John! Love you! lmao* (and I dun agree with that last one >.>)

Well it's been fun...

2004-09-15T15:30:58Z

Lets see... hmm not this monday but last.. Danny IMed me to talk.. that was most interesting. He's doing good.. got some pictures... he's dating a really pretty girl now. She seems to be keeping him in line. heh.

Same night.. feet and legs start to swell up.. went to the doctor that morning.. got put on some swelling meds and went to the hospital to get an ultra sound on my legs, no blood clots found. Good.

Tues: Had the most GOD AWFUL pain you could imagen in my lower back.. I had had it on and off before but NOTHING like this... told mom when I got home and she said we'd go back to the doctor again tommorrow

Wed: Didn't get to go see the doc..but he called me in some pain pills and nausea meds because I was really sick to my stomach. Tyler came by to see me... fun stuff.

Thurs: Didn't do so good... shouldn't have stayed up so long with Tyler but oh well I guess. Still eating meds like candy. lol

Friday: Same.. sis came home for weekend.

Sat, Sun, Mon. : Same

Yesterday: Went back to the doctor and they are hitting me with everything under the sun now; checking everything. After the doctor visit he gave me some kinda back pill (which isn't helping too much cause I just had to eat some pain killers), refills on some other pills, made me an extra prescription for my brith conrtol pills so that we could go back to the accual name brand to see if it helps (me nor mom think that's what it is but whatever). Um went and had a back x-ray done, blood work done, and today I have to collect all my urine for 24 hours (yay *wirls finger in air* -.-). Then we get to wait! I also get to have a sleep study done and depending on if changing the birthcontrol pills help or not, I get to have a scan of my stomach done to see if I have any ulsers. Like I
said.. they are hitting me with everything.

So fun.. there's your update. Have fun reading!

Stealing a friend's quiz >.>

2004-08-29T20:28:00Z

marius

The Ultimate Anne Rice Vampire Character Selection
brought to you by Quizilla

Fck fck fck fck.. etc.etc.etc.

2004-08-29T20:07:20Z

People piss me off.. and as of late even more so.. (I'll be glad when this Wellbutrin kicks in that I got friday at the doctor)

Past couple of weeks I've been very withdrawn... not very chatty...not having the energy some days to even type.. however I've tried to talk to a few people... namely one. I talk to Jon the other night... everything is peachy.. I mention some new drawings.. he wants to see them... talk to him about that... ask how work is going.. mention wanting to play with his Uriel head which he wasn't too keen on but he gave me the go ahead to edit it but he said he wanted to see it.. yay! Okay. I told him I wouldn't upload it if he didn't want me too.. okay.. and we also said some stuff about talking more... cause we haven't been.. mainly because I just donno what to say to him anymore and his moods flux so much.

Well.. I try talking to him again today... he had a day off.. was writing in his own live journal yadda yadda.. I asked if he ever got any of my messaged about the head edit.. I start telling him what all I changed and he just keeps repeating "I don't care", "He can use it.. I don't care" and I was just explaing to him what it looked like because I knew he wanted to see it and I had it uploaded to my photobuckt and I wanted him to look at it so I could see what he thought of it... I told him that I wasn't gonna upload it if he didn't want me to.. I never would.. but I really wanted him to look at it and when he wouldn't it really hurt my feelings.. he was just so withdrawn.. and then I asked if he was mad at me and all he did was that FUCKING SHRUG HE ALWAYS DOES. >.< *stress*

I just give up.. I donno what the hell to do anymore. I want to talk to Jon... I wanna be like we where before but it's like he doesn't want anything to do with me or something.. that's how it feels at least... I can't tell what he's thinking or feeling because it's like he shuts everyone out.. or at least me anyways.

I just want him to talk to me.. and no be mad at me... that's all I want. I miss talking to him and I don't think he understand that... or.. he does and doesn't care.

I know he has problems and such of his own but all I want is to be SOME PART of his life.. and I feel like he's shut me out.

I've bent over backwards to let him know I care about him very much and I can't get anything out of him back so I just give up.. I donno what to do anymore.

Escaflowne Music Rocks....

2004-08-25T02:54:23Z

Well mom talked to Otha and found out I'm not ADD! YAY!

dysthymic disorder
n.

A chronic disturbance of mood lasting at least two years in adults or one year in children, characterized by recurrent periods of mild depression and such symptoms as insomnia, tearfulness, and pessimism.

Main Entry: dys·thy·mia
Pronunciation: dis-'thI-mE-&
Function: noun
: a mood disorder characterized by chronic mildly depressed or irritable mood often accompanied by other symptoms (as eating and sleeping disturbances, fatigue, and poor self-esteem) called also dysthymic disorder

and

anx·i·e·ty ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ng-z-t)
n. pl. anx·i·e·ties

A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
A cause of anxiety: For some people, air travel is a real anxiety.
Psychiatry. A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression.

anxiety

\Anx*i"e*ty\, n.; pl. Anxieties. [L. anxietas, fr. anxius: cf. F. anxi['e]t['e]. See Anxious.] 1. Concern or solicitude respecting some thing or event, future or uncertain, which disturbs the mind, and keeps it in a state of painful uneasiness.

2. Eager desire. --J. D. Forbes

3. (Med.) A state of restlessness and agitation, often with general indisposition and a distressing sense of oppression at the epigastrium. --Dunglison.

Syn: Care; solicitude; foreboding; uneasiness; perplexity; disquietude; disquiet; trouble; apprehension; restlessness. See Care.

I'm depressed and have general anxiety! YAY! -.o lol.. Mom said I did very well on the math section of the test and good on the reading but only scored a 104 on the IQ test. Which she then said was effected by the depression and anxiety. She said Matt's mom said Matt's IQ ranged from 102 to 140... it just all varied. So yeah.. last week and this week I've been really depressed and strung out so I guess that might explain it. But yeah.. gonna see Otha thrusday and going with mom friday morning to get my happy pills prescribed. Forgive me for holding in my squeels of joy. x.o lol

Neways.. yeah. My entre. Behold it in it's glory... cause the first one got EATEN! *bites live jorunal for making me have to repeat myself*

"Has anyone told you she's not breathing?"

2004-08-20T05:57:55Z

Hmmm as of late... I've been pretty damn depressed. I have had the drive to really leave the house. I did go see the marching band for the last 45 minutes on tuesday night... Garnto has pretty much killed the band.. there is a crap load of drill team and flag core but there is very little band... Washington County.. rather.. Mr. Hillsman is going to just smite her.. and I'm gonna laugh. I miss Hillsman.

I drew a really... umm... odd picture the other day durning one of my more depressed days... an angel... with a peice of glass in her hand.... bloody and blood around it.. an upside down cros carved from her wrist down into her hand.. bleeding... dark gown.... long light curly hair... wings.. one missing most it's feathers.. (with some feathers down around her.. my first attempt really at doing that so it's so so)... and the other wing cut off and bloody.... eyes half open.. crying... wearing a cross choker. Hmm I guess it could be an icon of sorts for me. "Brokken Angel" ... cause.. well she's rather broken lol. I like how it turned out.. I think.... it's not bad.. not super great like I would like it to be.. but then again.. very few of things of mine turn out like I really like them to. *sighs*. I think I'm gonna go draw some more after I get through writing this.

I heard rumor that Shawn was no longer a teacher out the tech school.. however I had another friend say when he came in to eat where he worked, he was talking to someone about one of his classes. Who knows... I donno... I had someone kinda tell me it was stupid to like a teacher. Yes.. it is stupid.. but... I still do. I liked him before I realized he WAS a teacher.. so it isn't like I just started liking him when he was my teacher for those two classes. Ugh. I wanna mention it to him.. just to get an honest opinion of what he thinks of me.. but one.. I'm scared he won't say anything and just be like "Student Teacher Rules!" over and over... I know there are student teacher rules.. I know he doesn't wanna jepordize his job and I don't want him to. But I DO want what his opinion of me is.. I don't think I'll be satisfied until I hear what he would have to say.

My sister got into Alpha Delta Pi...... yay. First week of college has been hard for her.... she's called him crying a few times but she'll adjust. I told mom she'll probably need some Paxil CR or some sorta happy pill before it's all over with. And she probably will.. heh. But ya Ans. You got into the sorority you wanted. You go girl.

Hmm as for today had a guild war on Graal Classic. We won.. started at 1 pm.. lasted until almost 1 am.... go Ventrue!

Uh.. but yeah.... been kinda crappy these past two weeks.. kinda ironicly don't wanna go back home to Valdosta.... in a weird way... and then I kinda sorta do. It's complicating.

Neways... there has been some other stuff going on too but I really don't feel up to getting into all of it... but that's the general stuff above. Have fun reading it.

This week has had it's ups and downs

2004-08-11T22:41:15Z

Well...little update.

Saturday: Passed out at the park. Fun stuff. They said it was heat fustration but I doubt it was just that cause I did it 3 weeks previous. Went to the doctor today.. get to that in a minute. Had going away party from Cleon saturday night... fun stuff.

Sunday: Almost didn't go out to the park... but I did. Got to see Kyle again. Henry/Tinfol was out there.. hadn't seen him in a long time.. got to talking to him. Saw Jamie too.. that was nice. Went out to eat with Henry and Leefy aftewards... I'm gonna do some art for Henry's fanfic... fun stuff.

Monday: Had to drive back home cause psychological got moved up.... yeah.

Tuesday: Had a car wreck... *nods*.. went to psychological anyways.... gotta go back again thrusday at 1.... fun stuff.
Tylor came over.. cause I really wasn't for driving anymore and plus he lived on a dirt road... it was very nice to have him over... althought it was rather boring here. I really wanted to see him.. I was kinda just strung out all day. He stayed until like.. 4 x.x lol. We basically just sat around and watched tv.. some with my mom and sis and just talked.

Wednsday: Went to the doctor to see about my passing out spells... they didn't know what the deal was.. did some blood work... first lady couldn't find a place to poke me then finally chose my left arm at the bend... didn't get anything. Another girl came in.. looked around.. finally poked me on my right hand... didn't get anything but a drop of blood. They called in ANOTHER lady.. older.. poked my in my normal spot on my right bend... didn't get nothing.. then tried again on my left hand.. butchered it... it still hurts.. don't feel so great now.. but they at least finally got enough. Never had problems before ever.. until now. -.-
Mom and Ans both commented on how they liked Tylor.. kinda made me feel embarassed a litte... Tylor's just a friend after all.. lol.. but yeah.. they liked him.. so it was nice to hear them say how much they liked him. Mom commented on how queit Tylor was heh.. but it's okay.. I told her he doesn't talk much until he knows you well. heh

Other than all this.. not much! lolol.. so yeah... I'm out for now.

RWAR... yes

2004-08-08T19:56:52Z

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	erotic
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	twinkle in the moonlight
Your touch is...	irresistable
Your smell is...	exotic
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	unique

Quiz created with MemeGen!

and

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	light up a day
Your touch is...	heart warming
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	encouraging
Your love is...	eternal

Quiz created with MemeGen!

for some reason when I didn't cap the letters in kelsey marie it was different.. oh well.. no point in posting each version XD

Hmm too many dreams when you sleep for 17 hours.

2004-08-04T14:35:06Z

Hmmm well.. yesterday... I went to eat at my normal resturant. The same waiter that likes me was working. He still wants to take me out.. only thing is he can't hardly speak any english.. and what he can he can't speak well. *sighs* lol.. he's sweet but good god. I can't udnerstand him.

Well other than that... nothing much. Went to sleep around 6.. got called twice. Once by dad.. once by David. David said my problem is I need loving. haha... right. He said that's why I've been so sick lately. Nah.. I don't beleive that.

Neways.. went to sleep... and the better half of my dreams had Shawn in them. (Yes the teacher I like). I.. didn't mind it so bad... my luck in my dreams sucks as bad, if not worse than my real life luck. What sucked the most was, in the last one.. he was out on a date with my MOM. MY MOM! Ugh.... talk about slaps in the face.... >.>

Neways.. yeah.. I couldn't keep sleeping after that. Fucked me up a little bit. x.x lol. I'll keep ya'll posted.

Ji Nu and the Deviant art!

2004-08-03T07:18:16Z

You are Ji Nu!

A Chinese stellar goddess. Charming, inquistive,
and a dreamer.

Yeah... that's me! lol

I also made a deviant art account today. If you are interested in checking it out go here:

http://l3rokken4ngel.deviantart.com/

Hope you guys like. ^.^

Well.. no new news... I slept today to let my eyes heal. They were REALLY REALLY messed up yesterday. Constantly hurting.. red, burning, itching... puffed up. It sucked. I figured I'd sleep cause if I was asleep I could rub them and irritate them further. x.x

But yeah.. that's about it for now.. might get into more later but as for now that's it.

Update on the week

2004-08-01T23:16:06Z

Well... lets start in order shall we? I've been sick all week. Tonsils swollen up like a ballon... it sucked. I slept most the week. I'm better now however...

Jarrett came over on tuesday... it was fun. He was a really kewl guy. He reminds me a lot of my friend TJ. Kinda scary a bit. But it was kewl. Samuri X... go watch. I hypnotize you all and command you to!

Courtney spent the night last night with me. Fun stuff. Amazing what all a 14 year old has to do in her time. I love her to death. She's done as much at her age as I've done at mine.. well maybe she'll live it out and then get tired of it like my cousin did. Who knows. Either way she's having a good time.

Went to the park today... woo boy. Guess who I saw? Kyle.. yes.. my lovely sexy man who left for college. GUESS WHO HE BROUGHT!? A girrrrrrrrrlfriend. Heh.. she was beautiful. Short red hair... freckles... wonderful thick figure. I must say he's done a good job. About half way into the day he turned to me and said "Aren't you going to say I told you so?" I just laughed. I told him because I was a big person I wasn't going to... although I really wanted to. We joked about how I'm a spiteful bitch... then I joked back saying I was only spiteful because it was fun. It kinda hurt a littttttttttttle bit.. but not back. I miss the attention. I miss him holding my hand.. I miss the kisses and cuddles.... the hair playing.... OMG HE CUT HIS HAIR! *dies* I almost knocked him on his feet for that too. His thick, black, beautiful hair! GONE! *dies*

*sighs* Oh well.. I'm glad he found a girl to keep him on track.. he needs it.

Other than that.. not much else has been going on this week... Mayra's little brother is down with her visiting.. *shrugs* I'm chilling... probably going back home soon.. all that good stuff... Been rping on Val a lot. Everyone seems to think my character Cordelia is like... all romantic with a character named Vincent.. who is a Dragoon.. and an old friend of her deceased lover, Plo. Nah... they aren't.. it gets kinda annoying when people bug me constantly though.. HOWEVER.. I wouldn't mind seeing it later down the road... his character reminds me a lot of Plos.. He'd be good for Cordelia I think. But.. Cordelia wouldn't make the first move.. and I don't see Vincen't making it either.. so yeah! Probably wont' go far lmao.. but still really cute and fun to rp... he's a kewl guy. I've been talking to him a lot lately outta character and he's a real nice guy to have and talk to.

Been talking to Sting/Andrew too.. he bugged me to write last night *waves at Andrew* so I'm writing.. *thumbs up*

I got another message form dear ol' Danny. heh.. *waves* Hi Danny. He's doing his thing again... I'm glad he's working and getting out of the house..

Been talking to Tylor on and off.. heh.. he and went to Ian's house with Ian and Jermey and all the gang there... they made a small discussion over my art and style of art which I thought was funny. Yeah.. I like boobs... but I try not to do all my boobs big.. it's more of to me a way to flow the picture. I'm obessed with curves.. curves flow the eye easy... straight lines don't.. so one reaosn I drew women more often than men is because women are just.. beautiful. Curvey and beautiful. so.. yeah *nods*

Neways.. that's about it.. doing alot of art.. and some art trade offs going on now. My food is getting cold now so I'm gonna quit writing and eat.

Updating Thy Journal!

2004-07-25T09:47:51Z

Hmm okay... well. I spent the night with Amber Wed. and Thrus. nights... her ex boyfriend and now friend and 3 other of his friends came over wed. night. They were pretty kewl... we cooked for them Thursday... I think they liked being waited on. lol Umm it was an interesting time. Colby came over Wed. night and I got a bit of closure from him. I finally got an appologie that I have been waiting on for over a year... although I doubt it was an honest applogie. I pretty much pissed him off. I wasn't being mean.. just asking question and bring up stuff he didn't wanna talk about because he knew he was in the fault. Oh well.. I f*cked his world up that evening.. I'm sure by the next morning he forgot or didn't care.

Firday I went over to Tylor's house (back to Eastman again.. yes yes). Him, his mom, and I cooked dinner.. it was pretty fun. After all that some of his friends came by to pick up his laptop and told us to come to the LAN party so we decided to drop what plans we had and go. It was pretty kewl.. I don't think Thomas realized who I was... he never said one word to me.. no biggy. Doesn't bother me none. We stayed there till 1 pm Saturday. I slept through most the morning Saturday at the LAN. They never played UT so I wasn't too much interested in playing anything else. When we got back to Tylor's, we got there as his people were leaving to go to Macon. Me and him chilled in his room watching Escaflowne.... toward the end we just ended up kinda cuddling and sleeping there on the bed. It was nice.... I don't get to be close with people too often so getting to lay there next to him for a while was nice. He later told me he had a nice time too. Tylor is a sweetie... almost.. too sweet to a point. He's just so innocent and sweet and just.. I donno. I feel odd a little but it's no biggy. heh. Just never been around a guy more innocent than me to that extent.... at least I'm learning to watch my language... I do slip up from time to time around him.. luckly not infront of any parent figures though. That would be most awful... I think his family likes me pretty well and that would not be a good thing to do around them.

Today I sleep and then drive back down to Valdosta for a week. I need to call AOL and I need to scan those drawings I did a while back for Jon. I can't wait to see what he thinks of them. I really hope he likes them. I also wanna do some more with one of his old characters and mine.. he asked why and I said I just wanted to. I donno. It's hard to tell things with Jon most the time. I can't tell if he wants me around or doesn't want me around or what he thinks of me at all. I think that's just how he is though... so I try not to let it bother me too much. Jon means well.. he always does. I can't wait to see what he thinks of the Jakana/Karnac drawing and the Jakana/Desderian drawing.

Not sure what all I'm gonna do while I'm down in Valdosta.. but I hope it is at least worth the drive down there. I'm coming back home after the week is up to spend some more time up home.... hmmmm there is just a lot of little things to do while I'm back down there.

Also for everyone who did the survey thanks... and for everyone who didn't... you're slacking! =P take the dang test fool. rwar.

Hmm I wonder if anyone will accually reply

2004-07-21T10:05:57Z

I saw this on my friend's journal. I wondered if anyone would bother to reply. I hope you do.

1. give me a nickname and explain why you picked it?
2. how long have you known me?
3. when and how did we first meet?
4. what was your first impression?
5. do you still think that way about me now?
6. what do you think my weakness is?
7. do you think I'll get married?
8. what makes me happy?
9. what makes me sad?
10. what reminds you of me?
11. if you could give me anything what would it be?
12. how well do you know me?
13. ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. do you think I could kill someone?
15. describe me in one word.
16. do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
17. do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
18. are you going to put this on your live journal and see what I say about you?

1. By what name do you know me?
2. What songs remind you of me?
3. What makes me unlike anyone you know?
4. What is my best quality?
5. Where do you see me in ten years?
6. What's one thing about me you don't understand, and wish you did?
7. How do you think I'm going to die?
8. Do you find me attractive?
9. Would you date me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. What's one thing you don't like about me?
12. Can you see us as friends five years from now?
13. What's a band you know I love?
14. What would we do with a car full of gas and an entire day to ourselves?

Time cures all wounds?

2004-07-21T09:38:38Z

FF8 - Eyes On Me.... evil damn song. I found a CD I had made with just that one song on it.

It's really early.. I know. I tried going to sleep but I couldn't. I miss Jon. Yes.. I admit it. I. Miss. Jon. UGH. You know they say time cures all wounds... yea well.. over time it seems like it's gotten worse and worse. As of late I've been thinking about him every day and it's starting to just urke me. I mean. it's good.. but the fact remains that he doesn't like me like anymore. I screwed up big time and it's my fault. What annoys me is how much it hurts and how much I realized now that I shouldn't have gone back to Danny and stayed with Jon. Jon is just... I donno.. I have never been as happy with anyone ever as I was with Jon. It was like... I donno.. he was perfect to me. Why I did something as stupid as I did.. I will never really know. Fear? Stupidity?... *shrugs and sighs*

I hate this.. I hate me. I'm an idiot. I'm a loser.

I never do anything right. Why? Why do I have to be so damn stupid. Grr... here I am... 5:33 in the morning... can't sleep.. crying.. over what? My own damn mistake. I can't get someone outta my head. If anything at all, if not stupid for letting him go.. then I'm stupid for letting it dewl on my mind..... aren't I?

Why is it.. I can never find love... and if I do.. it's always too damn late? Am I that clueless to everything? Is everything so oblivious to me?

I can't do anything right... I can't even help myself. I am miserable because of this. I'm unhappy because I can't make the right choices in life. I think I'm just doomed to live like this until I die cold, bitter, and alone.

Love sucks. Love hurts. Love is the one thing that we all secretly desire and strive for.

Why do we try so hard to get something that hurts us so much?

Lots and lots

2004-07-20T06:27:31Z

Well went the party.. had a good time. Only bad thing is come to find out my friend made a couple people VERY uncomfortable. Now I have to talk to her and I'm not sure what to say.. it also doesn't help that she has some emotional problems as it is. I donno what to do but I guess I gotta figure it out.

Sister got home from Colorodo... got her wisdom teeth cut out Monday... she's staying doped up on drugs... all that good stuff.

I'm hanging with my friend this week cause her family is going outta town... donno what we are gonna do.... should be interesting.

At the moment feeling a little depressed for some reason.. I'm thinking back on someone... wishing things had been done differently with them... as I usually think at least once every day. I would never tell them that though... cause I know they don't have any feelings of that nature for me anymore.

Hmmm other than that not much.. I'm feeling for short at the moment or I'd be more detailed.... finacial problems going on right now too.. which sucks.

Well that's it for now I think. I'll keep ya'll updated.

Update

2004-07-12T17:46:18Z

I need to update.. Still up here in Hawkinsville with mom and Ans. Ans is going to Colorodo for FBLA tommorrow and mom kept whinning for me to stay so I did. Leslie probably won't let me keep Shelby anymore.. hell this is the third time I've cancled on here.. *sighs* oh well I guess.

Part of my reason for staying as well is this friday I'm going to a LAN/Game/Anime party thing at a guy named Tylor's house. He's one of the guys that runs Crackfest LAN gatherings. He told me about the next LAN and i said I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it and he decided to try and throw a party THIS friday instead of next. My friend from graal is going though.. that's what kinda made me stay. Everyone on graal knows him as Night or Nightmare Angel. I'm really anxious about going.. as I usually am when I go anywhere lol. I have horrible anxity problems.. and worry horribly about what people think of me.. and I won't know anyone there other than him and this Tylor guy even if you wanna count those two cause I don't really KNOW them know them.... so this should be most interesting

I talked to my friend Amber (Ber) last night.. gonna go spend the night with her tonight.. just gotta call and let my mom know lol.. >.> I haven't seen her but like.. 3 times since I graduated.. one of those times being at her/my sister's graduation. It should be fun.

My class got canceled so no school for the summer quarter..... I'm kinda anxious to get back cause this guy in my C Programming class I had.. he was in it for a couple of weeks nad then dropped... IMed me and mentioned getting together sometime.. wouldnt' mind doing that. Only down fall is if he does like me and we hang out.. he's moving in aroudn a year. Bleh.. my luck just sucks. Also found out from my friend that Sean told Sereta that he couldn't date anyone out at Val Tech cause of teacher student rules... although I donno if she mentioned my name and if he was positive or negative.. gah now THAT sucks cause I gotta risk running in to him and not knowing what was said.

Oh well.. that should cover it for now.

YAY!

2004-07-09T05:12:43Z

Well on what is possible the last night here at mom's... I FINALLY get the damn PC fixed. How about that? Yeah.. figures. Neways... update! Umm.. went to Lake Seminole this past weekend. Went ride around in my Uncle's boat.. drank some.. didn't get drunk of course. Went tubing in a lake full of gators lolol... and I went fishing! Yay! Got burnt to but it's feeling better now. My sister, cousin, and me spoted a few cute guys while out on the boat.. just had some fun.

Back home at mom's now.. went to Warner Robins to meat with Otha up at the Dept. of Labor... gonna go for a psychological evaluation with Dr. Meck whenever they mail me a letter telling me when the appointment will be.... it's for to see if I have ADD and/or Anxity or anything I think. Should be interesting....

Later that night me, Kallie, Michelle, Jesse and her baby Trinity went to Macon.. went to the mall. I bought some Yum Pop flip flops.. pink with bunnies on them! yay! And I got a wrist band with one of those plants off Mario.. can't remember their names.. the ones that come outta the pipes.. lol. it says "byte me" under it.. it's awesome. And I got *thinks* some purfume from Victoria Secrets... and then when we left there we went to Wal-Mart in Warner Robins.. got a this red and black striped shirt with zippers on either side on the chest/arm seem area... it's neat. Some guys hit on me and Michelle while we were outside waiting on Kallie and Jesse to get done inside.. then they followed us back to the car and we were all talking (when Kallie and Jesse came out)... I figured I'd just have a little fun and keep egging them on for the hell of it.. they asked for a ride but we didn't have room.. I gave one of them my number but I know they won't call.. just did it for shits and giggles.. after we got down the road.. I told them I should have said Kallie was my lesbian lover lmao. Then we all agreed next time we should just all say we are lesbian loves who have big orgies with each other. LMAO... either way it was fun day.

Other than that.. nothing really much has happened. I should be back home in Valdosta soon...

One guy I had in my C Class for a few days IMed me the other day.. said I interested him and it kinda shocked me. I had noticed him in the class.. thought he was kinda cute. We were talking about cartoons and stuff and he mentioned making a date outta an anime and a take and stuff.. I couldn't stop blushing for like 10 minutes.. never had anyone suggest a date of any sort to me before... it was kinda neat.

Well.. that's about it.. I'll keep ya'll updated.

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